These images were created using the anime avatar creator by Rinmaru Games. Finally, we are getting a bit closer to how the girls look in my mind. Not perfect, but far better than anything else I've used so far.
Lauren "Lynn" Rodriguez
- Birth date : July 17, 1991 -- 8:29 A.M. - El Paso
- Instruments : Guitar & co-lead vocals
- Musical Influences : Black Flag, Slayer, Slint, The Fall
- Misc. Goodies :
- Born Lauren but nicknamed "Lynn" at 2 months old because of her infamous Aunt Lauren's embarrassing crime spree. At thirteen she went back to using Lauren, mostly to spite her parents.
- Claims to have coined the band's name. Jennifer disagrees.
- Doesn't believe in shaving.
- Favorite movie of all time is The Big Lebowski
- First indie record was a used vinyl copy of Slint's Spiderland
- Had her first lesbian experience at 15 with Fiona and they have an exclusive couple ever since. Awwww...
- Other interests include astronomy, airports, photography and pork processing techniques.
- An erotic model with a large following.
- First job was tankwipe for Strickland Propane.
- An accomplished artist, she plans to put out a graphic novel for children next year.
- Not an illegal alien, despite what her sister Jennifer says.
- A right-leaning Libertarian. You gotta problem with that?
Jennifer Rodriguez
- Birth date : July 17, 1991 -- 8:31 A.M. - El Paso
- Instruments : Bass & co-leadvocals
- Musical Influences : Ramones, Buck Owens, Jerry Reed, X
- Misc. Goodies :
- Has competed in and won ten beauty contests in the past five years.
- Works at Barney's Big Bag of Ammo during the week and volunteers at a ranch on the weekends.
- Other interests include unreasonable anger, field hockey, snapping necks and riding the mechanical bull at Pound of Sugar & Salt BBQ Bar and Grill.
- Has exclusively worn thong panties since 15.
- Claims to have coined the band's name. Lauren disagrees.
- Leader of the El Paso chapter of Obama Youth
- Sin Fest character Monique is supposedly based on her likeness.
- Favorite movie of all-time is The Nightmare Before Christmas.
- Started an online porn site on the day of her 19th birthday, but it went bankrupt in a week when nobody could afford the outlandish membership fees (and it turns out most of the urine-related content was illegal under Texas law).
- Used to flash her boobs or butt in exchange for money and/or gifts, but has since stopped doing so after having to bury a stalker in the crawl space of Casa de Almeja.
Fiona Gainsbourg
- Birth date : August 8, 1990 -- Paris, France
- Instruments : Drums, noise synths, samples & background vocals
- Musical Influences : Doesn't really matter, we endured far too much French punk than any non-French human should.
- Misc. Goodies :
- Born in Paris, but family moved her to Quebec City at 14. Came to El Paso at 16 and has overstayed her Visa ever since.
- Lauren's girlfriend since she joined at the band at 16.
- NOT related to Serge Gainsbourg, but her parents are probably just as wild. Also, the lack of family blood means Charlotte Gainsbourg is fair game for Fiona & Lauren's lovin' (whoo-hoo!)
- Other interests include crying over French Canadian's slaughtering the French accent, painting, reading French translations of English authors and breaking into poor people's homes to make fun of their home decor.
- Flat chested, petite French girl who never wears a bra and usually goes topless in concert.
- Was held back a year in school because the Texas school system doesn't believe Canadian schools count.
- A published poet in Quebec for her poem insulting her French headmaster.
- Speaks fluent English, and even though she hated Quebec, often swears using Quebec sacrer profanities. Bapteme de calice, mon ostie!
Other characters
Ashley Rodriguez
- Birth date : June 23, 1992
- Instruments : N/A, though she can play guitar pretty dang well!
- Musical Influences :
- Misc. Goodies :
- Lauren and Jennifer's 1st cousin. She wants to be in the band but Jennifer is jealous that Ashley has bigger boobs, a bigger butt, flatter stomach and longer legs.
- Her father is married to a white woman, which is considered an unforgivable sin according to Jen and Lauren's father, despite the fact he is married to a half-white woman.
- Her white skin and naturally blonde hair makes her exotic in El Paso
- Works with club owners in private to secure the band gigs. Lauren and Fiona know this; Jen does not.
- Despite having her ribs broken by Jen once, she holds no grudges
- Sleeps around a lot, but still a technical virgin. Exclusively uses her large breasts to relieve men's tension.
- Because of the above reason she has invested a lot of capital in Astroglide
Kim Xiong
- Birth date : May 24, 1991
- Instruments : Drums
- Musical Influences : Babes in Toyland, Bikini Kill, Bratmobile
- Misc. Goodies :
- Original drummer for Las Almejas. Left after stealing Lauren's great culinary idea, and her boyfriend.
- Sometimes leaves threatening messages for Fiona on the Casa de Almeja answering machine.
- Has a substantial collection of corn on the cob holders, despite being allergic to corn.
- Works out for hours a day at the gym, but uses her spare time to create food that will destroy the health of her consumers. Her long-term goal in life is to get her complete line of destructive foods in every organic and health food store across the world.
- Current drummer of the infamous "Cunt Punk" band The Menstrual Cups
- Her pre-concert rituals include shouting the names of her former bandmates in reverse (Zeugirdor Nerual, etc) and marking the drum sticks she used at the last Las Almejas practice with eyeliner.